Mac smacked me over the head with a newspaper to wake me up this morning. I don’t know what he thinks misery is, but it sure as hell won’t help if someone hits you with stuff at the same time. “You got a call. Some girl. Don’t know her name.”

    “Cheers,” I muttered, grabbing the phone and throwing an empty CD case after him when he left my room. “Hello?”

    “Oh, Fred, I feel really bad about last night!” Sammie’s wailing voice met me – slightly more painful than having someone beat me with a paper. “I really had no idea he’d be there. I was sure it would become one of those big Lex and Fred moments that you guys are so good at! Lex isn’t even serious with that other guy, ya know. They’ve only been out twice and I’m sure they haven’t even kissed yet.”

    “I just woke up,” I said dozily. “I can’t think before breakfast.”

    “I just feel so bad. How was I supposed to know that she would invite him to that thing? I didn’t even know she liked him enough for a third date. He’s not her boyfriend, don’t think that for a second!” she demanded hotly.

    “I’m not thinking anything except that maybe I should hang up on you,” I clarified with a yawn.

    “Every action needs a counteraction,” she decided without listening to me. “Jealousy usually works. Let’s work on jealousy!”

    “I’m doing quite fine with that without your help, thanks,” I muttered. “Or maybe it’s all because of your so-called help.”

    Sammie was quiet for a second, making me think she’d found something better to do than to talk to me. “You’re not seeing anyone, are you?” she questioned firmly after a while.

    “I’m spending Christmas Day babysitting my four year-old brother,” I said tiredly. “What do you think?”

    “I think you’re blue.”

    “Depressed?” I asked, confused.

    “No, smurf-blue. Yes, of course depressed!” she hollered. “What did she say last night?”

    “Lots of things that I don’t remember or have repressed or misinterpreted on the spot.”

    I could almost see Sammie frown on the other side of the line, thinking deeply, forming insane plans in her little head. “It’s Christmas Day,” she finally settled with. I sighed forcefully. If I wanted someone to tell me what day it was I would’ve asked Mr. Calendar or Mr. TV already.

    “Really? So close to Christmas Eve? Wow, way to not pan out the holidays over more days,” I growled.

    “Don’t be snappy, Fred. I’m trying to help you out. Lex and the rest of us are going to Rockefeller Center later tonight to skate and watch the tree. You could show up there, too. It won’t look strange since there are tons of people going to those things. You could say you’re there with your brothers. And then you and Lex could talk some more.”

    “Won’t Lex be angry if you talk to me about her behind her back?” I asked to steer the conversation away from further ridiculousness.

    “She knows I talk to you sometimes,” Sammie said. “I would never go behind her back, you know that!”

    She sounded so indignant that I regretted even thinking my last sentence. “I’m sorry. Of course I know that. Can I just say something?”

    “What?”

    “As much as I want Lex back, I’m not entirely sure she wants me back yet. I mean, I won’t stop trying to get back together with her, but I talked to her and I talked to Jeff earlier and it sounds a lot like she’s not ready to be with me. I don’t wanna make her take me back if she’s not sure she wants to.”

    “Fred, that’s lame,” Sammie decided frankly. “Do you want her back? Yes! So just take her back! Don’t go all soft and emotional over it, girls don’t want that. What’s there to be ready about?”

    “Well, the way we broke up-”

    “Oh, pooh. That’s water over the bridge!”

    “Under.”

    “Huh?”

    “Under the bridge,” I said.

    “Whatever. That was months ago, I’m sure she’s forgotten all about it. Do you even remember what it was about?”

    “Well, I was getting into fights and had trouble in school, while Lex had problems with-”

    “You see? All forgotten. Whaddya say we eat breakfast together? We can talk more and you can think better.”

    “I have to take care of my brother,” I hurried to say. It’s true, sure, but I wasn’t exactly dying to have more couple’s counseling with Sammie the Therapist. “Do you even believe yourself when you feed me lies about how things are forgotten?”

    It took a few moments before she replied. “Look, Fred, I know this is hard on both of you. I think you would both feel better if you admitted that you need each other. You could work things out anyway; you don’t need to be apart for that to happen. I love Lex and I really like you and Lex has never been happier than when she was with you.” She sighed. “I just don’t get why you two had to break up in the first place.”

    At times, even I don’t know that.