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2. Will You Marry Me?
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    I vividly remember the night I proposed to Lex. I’m surprised I do, actually, because I was really nervous and kept drinking more and more alcohol to work up my courage. Lex had no idea what I was doing, and was amused by my efforts to construct an understandable sentence.

    Everything else was perfect. I’d taken her to a fancy restaurant, more specifically the Alain Ducasse one, where I’d been forced to bribe several people just to be able to get reservations. Those ridiculously expensive places make me nervous, even though I should be used to them by now. Of course, despite growing up in a wealthy family, we didn’t exactly eat at fancy restaurants every day.

    Lex was perfect. I mean it; she was so incredibly beautiful that night. There was no doubt in my mind if I was going to go through with it or not; I knew from the second I saw her that it was the right thing to do.

    Her perfection made me twice as anxious. What if she said no? What if she laughed? What if I passed out from the pressure and forgot the whole purpose of why I was there?

    We ordered our food, after making fun of the menu as we always do when we’re at an expensive restaurant. Lex kept chatting about things in general, while I did my best not to completely lose my hearing during a mental breakdown.

    “So, what’s the occasion?” she finally asked.

    “What do you mean?” I managed to get out.

    “Well, it’s not my birthday, it’s not Valentine’s Day, there’s no successful gig to celebrate and it’s not Christmas. Why are we eating the most expensive food New York has to offer?”

    I moved around, trying to figure out a good excuse. “Eh, I just thought you’d like… restaurant food.”

    “Fred? We ate out last night too. We always do. The only difference is that the food usually doesn’t cost as much as our rent,” Lex smiled, probably well aware that my answer was a white lie. “Is it a secret?”

    “Yeah, I guess so.”

    “Well, then I won’t ask any more,” she said easily. “I’m not complaining. It’s nice to be pampered.”

    I laughed. “And we haven’t even started on the main course yet.”

    Lex kept throwing curious glances at me all through our meal. From time to time, she met my eyes and gave me a puzzled smile.

    If I hadn’t been so nervous, I might’ve been able to have some sort of conversation with her, but as the night went along, all I could get out was phrases like “I see”, “Uh-huh”, “Wow” and “Cool”. Finally I decided to make something of my nervous twiddling. We were just finishing our main course and I ordered in something more for us to drink, since that was part of my plan. Not to get her drunk, though, but to place the ring in her glass for her to find.

    To my dismay, the color of the wine was completely wrong. It was dark red, meaning Lex wouldn’t notice the ring unless she choked on it. I had to do something about that immediately, before she could react.

    I quickly grabbed the glass of wine that was placed in front of her on the table, so she wouldn’t have time to finish it herself. “Fred, what are you doing?” Lex asked with a surprised voice. “Fred!”

    Without thinking, I downed every single drop of what was in the glass. “Sorry, about that,” I excused myself, while Lex was still staring at me like I was crazy – which I probably was at that time.

    “But Fred,” she admonished. “You know you can’t drink red wine. You’re gonna get so sick now. Why’d you drink it?”

    All good answers seemed to be unavailable, because I just simply answered, “I was very thirsty, Lex. Sorry, I’ll get you something else to drink.”

    Stunned, she watched as I got up from my chair and made my way over to the bar. The room was literally spinning, so I almost walked right into another couple’s table before I reached the head waiter. “I specifically specified the wine to be not red, which I don’t think what we got was,” I slurred out incoherently.

    The man, probably thinking I was some sort of alcoholic, just shot me a tired look. “Sir, you ordered a bottle of Château Margaux, which is one of our more respectable French red wines. I think you received exactly what you wanted.”

    Not bloody likely, but I can’t claim to be some sort of wine expert, since I never really drink it. Lex does, so I should’ve let her order. “I need the wine to be white,” I explained.

    “I’m sorry sir, but I cannot open yet another bottle of expensive wine merely for you.”

    “How much did the other bottle cost?” I asked suspiciously, grabbing the bar counter to keep from losing my balance. That wine really got to me. “I’ll pay for both bottles.”

    The head waiter looked more than doubtful to my promise. Most likely, he thought of me as one of the upper-class brats that have their parents paying for everything. And that’s not completely far off the truth either. “It’s against our policy.”

    “Listen,” I said. “I’m trying to propose to my girlfriend, and so far things aren’t exactly going according to my otherwise well thought-out plan. If you find me a wine that won’t send me directly to the emergency room, I’d be forever grateful. I’m desperate. Please, help me out.”

    My pathetic speech didn’t seem to help much, so I took out my wallet. Sheesh, is money more important than humanity? I counted up three hundred dollar bills and slipped them over to him over the bar disk. Despite that, I saw that he was about to object. “And put the other wine on my tab, if you’d be so nice,” I muttered. This helped a lot more. The greedy, snooty man grabbed the money and put them in his own pocket.

    “Certainly, sir. Would you like to look at the wine list?”

    Sigh. “Nah. Just pick whatever sounds fancy.”

    “May I suggest a bottle of Dom Pérignon, sir?”

    “Is it white?”

    “It’s one of our finest champagne.”

    “But is it white?”

    “Yes, it is.”

    “Well, I guess that sounds good,” I shrugged, knowing he was ripping me off completely by giving me the most expensive beverage he could think of. Although, it didn’t matter at that point; I just wanted to get it over with.

    I was about to retreat to my table where Lex was still waiting, when the waiter called me back. “Sir? You forgot to hand me the ring.”

    “The ring?” I said, perplexed. My intention had never been to let the ring stray from my care or sight.

    “If you give the engagement ring to me now, I can slip it into the glass before I deliver the glass to your table.”

    My easily affected mind thought this sounded like a good suggestion, even if it had nothing to do with my original plan. I took the square little box out of my pocket and passed it over to the waiter. The thought struck me that he might grab the ring and take off with it, but I was stupid and gave the ring away anyway. Before putting the ring in an empty glass, the waiter tied a narrow, silk ribbon around the ring itself, so it would be easier to pull it out of the glass later.

    Lex looked up when I came back. “Where the hell have you been? It took that long to order another drink?” she smiled, amused. “And where is it, anyway?”

    “Uh, they were out,” I stated. “They’re… looking for one now.”

    “Okay, that’s it,” she exclaimed. “Fred, you’ve obviously been making up lies all night. What the hell is going on? As long as I’ve known you, you have never ever lied to me before. You need to stop being so secretive. Tell me what’s up, or-”

    “I’m sorry,” I hurried to say. “Lex, I haven’t lied to you-”

    “They were out of drinks? At the bar?” she questioned, shaking her head. “Has the wine messed up your head?”

    I moved my chair closer to the table. “I have something to say, Lex. Could you hear me out?”

    “Of course, but-”

    “Please, Lex,” I begged. “I really love you an immensely amount of a lot. You mean the world to me, you really do. Without out you, I’m not sure I’d even be able to function right. I love you so much.”

    By the look on her face, I’d say she was mostly horrified rather than surprised. I think she was expecting me to announce I had a fatal illness of some sort. “Fred, please. I love you, too. But you don’t seem to feel very well. Maybe you should see a doctor.”

    “No, you don’t understand what I’m trying to say,” I mumbled. “My life wouldn’t be complete with you… I mean without you… No, wait…”

    Lex put her hand on my cheek. “Fred, I’m ordering you to stop talking. I told you not to drink the wine. You know how you get.”

    One of the waitresses came over to us, holding a tray with the glasses of champagne. Luckily, Lex didn’t notice her at all, so she paid no attention whatsoever to what was in her drink. The little ribbon was dangling back and forth over the edge of the glass.

    “Lex,” I continued, desperately trying to remember what I was supposed to say. “I can’t spend the rest of my life with you. I mean, I can’t live without you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

    “What?” she asked, slowly beginning to realize what I was saying.

    “I love you,” I explained, closing my eyes to keep the room from spinning in front of me. Lex reached for her drink, without turning away from me, and I panicked. The smartest thing to do seemed to be to go down on one knee and ask before she saw the ring, so that’s what I did. Never mind that I hadn’t planned to do that…

    Lex quickly leaned forward to grab my shoulder, thinking I was about to pass out. “Fred! Oh, God, you’re unbelievable. I’m definitely taking you to the hospital now.”

    “I’m all right,” I assured her, removing her hand from my arm. “I’m just… This is so much harder than I thought it would be.”

    “What is?” she muttered, starting to lose her patience with me.

    “This. All of it. But you’re worth it. You’ve always been worth it. You’ve… changed my life in so many ways, Lex. I just… I feel like I owe you so much, for everything you’ve done for me. You’ve always made me feel so important and… I’ve been nothing but happy with you throughout these past… three years. I guess I just… want you to be as happy, too. And I want to be the one who makes you happy. Because I love you.”

    “I love you too,” she mumbled, staring at me. “But I don’t understand-”

    “Lex, will you marry me?”

    Okay, I thought she was going to say no. I really did. Because she was quiet for so long, just looking at me as if she couldn’t understand the question. Then she put the glass to her lips and was about to take a sip, so I had to interfere and grab the glass. I didn’t want her to accidentally swallow the ring. That would probably have been bad.

    Realizing she hadn’t yet spoken, Lex snapped out of her daze. “Oh, I… Fred… Yes, of course I want to marry you, you idiot.” After that announcement, she threw her arms around my neck and almost knocked me over. At the same time as she did that, several people from the tables around us started to clap their hands, making Lex turn her head to look at them, not aware that people were listening to us. I managed to get back up on my feet so I could pull her closer. Lex put a hand over her mouth, giving up a short laugh. “I almost swallowed the ring, didn’t I?”

    “Sorta.” I hauled the ring out of the glass and took her hand. “Are you really sure?”

    “Of course I am,” she smiled, meeting my eyes. “How could you even think I’m not?”

    “I dunno,” I shrugged, still not being able to form an understandable sentence. Actually, I was so close to bursting into tears of relief that I couldn’t think straight. I slipped the ring onto her finger, my hands shaking nervously. “I love you. But I’ve already said that a whole bunch of times already, haven’t I?”

    “You can say that how many times you want,” she promised. “For as long as you want. Thank you, Fred.”

    The big question of ‘now what?’ arose. She was investigating her new, shiny ring, while I couldn’t think of one single thing to say. The snooty waiter came up to our table, interrupting my thoughts. “Is everything to your satisfaction?” he asked, raising his eyebrows at me.

    “Oh, everything is just perfect,” Lex assured him happily. “I think we want our check, please.”

    “I would have hoped I could serve you some dessert. On the house, of course. We treat all the couples that choose to get engaged at our restaurant for dessert.”

    “Well, that sounds nice, too,” Lex beamed, looking at me. “Doesn’t it, Fred?”

    “Yeah, I guess,” I agreed.

    After the dessert, which I carefully stayed away from, I paid the check and got ready to leave. Lex was pampering me, knowing the wine was getting to me. “I thought it was really sweet,” she declared while we were outside, trying to get a cab.

    “I messed up, as usual,” I said, sitting down on the sidewalk. Lex snorted, taking the place next to me. “I had it all planned out, I promise.”

    “Hey, don’t try to make it sound like it wasn’t good enough,” she said promptly. “You were so close to making me cry, you twat.”

    I had to laugh. “That seems like something I could be able to do.”

    “I couldn’t have imagined it in any other way. You said all the right words and you did all the right things. You made me really happy, Fred. And according to you, that’s what you were going for.”

    “Yeah,” I nodded. “I just wish I could’ve done it a bit more… coherently.”

    Lex shoved at my arm. “Fred, you did it exactly the right way. And I can’t wait to be married to you.”

    That’s when I finally burst into tears. The rest of the night is kind of blurry. I’m quite sure I had to spend a few hours at the emergency room, because Lex started to worry about me. After that it’s merely… indescribable.