Secrets People Keep From Me

    I’ve been pondering about a lot of things since school started again.

    Well, school just started yesterday, but I've been thinking a lot anyway.

    I just came back from spending a little over three weeks in the Cayman Islands. Time really flew, and time really stood still - at the same time. Catalina and I didn't actually talk a lot, or at least not about the things we should have discussed. And I couldn't wait to get back to school (there's a first for everything) because I missed my friends.

    I missed Lex. We became really close over the summer and... well, I miss talking to her.

    I did go see her yesterday, but she didn't have time to talk because she wanted to go see Charlie. I was speaking very incoherent, so I couldn’t keep her interest. Or maybe it was because I didn’t know what to say. Some day, when I know how to construct sentences, I’ll talk to her again. Maybe it is for the best anyway.

    Catalina doesn’t know how to talk. I wish I knew why. I don’t know much about her, because she keeps changing her attitude. First she’s icy as a drunk polar bear (well, they have to drink something, right? And since I don’t know what they drink, it could be alcohol, right?), and the next thing I know, she asks me for help about everything. I usually take care of her, but she has never actually told me to look out for her. She's been more than clingy since we left Florida.

    My brother called me yesterday. He usually doesn’t, so I was afraid that Mom had finally gone over the deep end and killed herself (or possibly my dad), but Mac just wanted to know how I was. He sounds weird nowadays. Maybe he’s influenced by the alcoholism that runs in the family? Or maybe he’s taken after our mother and popping pills? Nah... Ha, the thought amuses me. A stoned Mac would drive people crazy. He’s annoying when he's normal.

    Oh. I also have ADD. The school counsellor called me into her office yesterday and told me. I completely forgot about all those tests they did right before the summer. I can’t remember what ADD means. Like Attention Dee Disorder. Dummy? Attention Dummy Disorder. Kinda sounds like me.

    To concentrate isn't what I do best, but I like my life as it is. And my life will be perfect the day I find that book about a turtle from when I was a baby.

    Secrets. My life is like an opened book. I confide in my girlfriend, but she refuses to tell me anything. Secrets. She knows about my demons (I sound so deeply complicated, but really, I’m boring and plain), about my parents, about the alcohol, about my brothers, about my learning disability. And what do I know about her? She panics a lot and likes to cry, but that's not really a secret anymore. I do know that she's keeping something from me, though.

    I need to find out what all these secrets are about.

PART #2
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