Cimmy’s Notes: I claim creative license, at least for some of the details on babies flying – after hours of research, I feel entitled to do this as I’m getting nowhere with it.
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Chapter 4. Baby's First Road Trip
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The following week came and went – to Fred’s delight – very quickly. They encountered a few minor setbacks when it turned out Elle couldn’t get on the flight they wanted to take, as children younger than eight months couldn’t have their tickets pre-booked on that particular airline.
This resulted in an earlier leave, since it took far longer to drive than to go by plane. They decided to leave at dawn on Wednesday morning so not to run into someone that would ask where they were going.
Jeff showed up outside the garage at 6:30. Fred had only just arrived at the car, loading the last of the bags into the trunk. Elle was watching him with damped interest from where he’d placed her among the other packing. “Did your parents ask where you were going?” Fred asked.
“No, they were still asleep. Did you get out unnoticed?”
“Yeah, though Elle nearly started crying when I woke her up, so it was close.”
“We should hurry up before someone else needs their car.”
“Yeah, definitely,” Fred agreed. He flinched when he heard a door close somewhere near.
“So, I was walking down the street,” came a familiar voice from behind. “And I thought to myself; gee, isn’t that Jeff Delricci? And then I thought; what is Jeff Delricci doin’ here, on this street, at this hour? Huh.”
“Kate-” Fred started, closing his eyes as soon as he recognized her voice, but Kate didn’t let him continue.
“And then I thought; wouldn’t it be totally weird for him to be on this street, right outside my best friend’s house, when everybody knows that Jeff Delricci and Fred are mortal enemies?”
“We’re not-” Fred tried.
“So the question now is; what is Jeff Delricci doing here, if you’re supposedly such enemies?” Kate rambled on, taking a quick look at the car. “Are you running away?” she added suspiciously, loud enough to wake up the entire building.
“No, I’m not,” Fred explained. “Lower your voice-”
“And you’re takin’ the little one, too!” Kate complained worriedly, throwing sad glimpses at Elle who was sitting in her carrier, chewing on her mitten. “I can see the packing, mister! You’re so totally running away!” Her tone of voice changed in an instant. “You’re running away with Jeff?”
“Kate,” Fred sighed, hoping her rant would end soon.
“You’re running away with Jeff Delricci when you can’t stand each other? Ooh, I knew there were more behind that hate than you’d admit! All this ‘I love Lex’ nonsense was just a big scam. And all those times I joked about you being gay… you actually were?”
“Does she ever shut up?” Jeff asked tiredly.
“Not really,” Fred shrugged.
“I mean, I always knew you were too organized and nice to be straight, so I sort of always knew, but still…” Kate went on thoughtfully. “And you have a baby, too - aww, look at her, she’s got a bow in her hair, how precious… Hey!” she suddenly hollered indignantly. “You’re running away and didn’t tell me about it?”
“And Kate McKinley finally lands on earth among the rest of us,” Fred said, shaking his head. “Shut up! You’re letting everybody know we’re here.”
Kate went around the car, still with a suspicious look on her face. “Where are you going?”
“Nowhere. What are you doing here?” Fred muttered, hoping he could convince her to go away – though he had yet to succeed with that task in particular.
“I came by to hang out, and you said yesterday that you’d be gone all day so I came early so I could tag along, and on my way here I saw Jeff, so I followed him,” she explained simply. “I was curious what you two were hiding from me.”
“Go home,” Fred told her firmly.
“Nuh-uh. Where are you going?” she repeated.
“We’re going to Michigan to visit Lex,” Jeff said, probably hoping Kate would be satisfied if she got to know the story. Fred knew that wouldn’t do at all.
“Can I come too?” Kate asked happily.
“No!” they both said in unison.
“Why are you sneaking?”
“Because no one can know about it.”
“Well, then, I will tell everybody unless you let me come along,” she decided with a nod. Fred glared at her angrily. “And those looks won’t do, mister. Tryin’ to run away from me and not letting me know. No, you need a woman’s help.”
“For what? You’ve been here two minutes and already I have a headache,” Fred growled. “You’ll go home, and do what I say for once.”
“I won’t let anyone decide over me,” Kate said loudly. “I have a will of my own and I especially won’t let a man decide over me.”
Fred moaned with frustration. “Fine, get into the damn car and shut the hell up! You’re not to speak a single word until we get to Buffalo.”
“Ooh, exciting,” Kate cheered, hopping into the backseat. “Road trip.”
“We’re going through Canada, so I hope you brought your passport,” Fred muttered, continuing with packing the bags into the car.
“No, I’m a citizen.”
“Of Canada?”
“No, silly, here! In America!”
“She does have a point,” Jeff said. “You only need a passport if you’re not from Mexico or America.”
“Thank you!” Kate smiled cheerfully. “I’m Kate McKinley, by the way.”
Jeff nodded at her. “Uh, yeah, I know. We’ve met. We went to school together. Grade eight and onwards. Remember?”
“Sure. ‘Course I do, I just thought maybe you’d forgotten.”
“No one forgets you, no matter how hard they try,” Fred snorted, still glaring daggers at her. “Didn’t I tell you to be quiet?”
“Well, yeah, but I always ignore you anyway,” she beamed. “So, Jeff… Fancy seeing you around.”
“Watch it, McKinley,” Fred warned. “Back off.”
“What?” she asked innocently. “I wasn’t flirting! You always accuse me-”
“Because you always flirt! One can be nice without flirting, Kate.”
“This is rather amusing and intriguing all at once,” Jeff sighed with a monotone voice. “But I’d suggest we get going before it gets too late.”
Fred nodded concurringly and closed the door to the backseat so Kate couldn’t interfere any more. “You know, we hafta let her tag along now,” he clarified. “She’ll rat us out in a second.”
“Like true friends do,” Jeff mumbled. “Is she always like this?”
“No, no, not at all,” Fred shook his head reassuringly. “Sometimes she’s annoying.”
“Oh, great,” Jeff muttered, as Fred went over to the other side of the car to fasten Elle. “She’s Sammie; Sammie on a sugar-high.”
They had only driven three blocks when Kate moved to the middle seat and leaned forward. “How long will we be gone for? When will we stop for breakfast? Do you even know how to get to Michigan?”
“Shut up, Katie.”
“I mean, it’s all very noble of you to go to Lex like this, but Fred, you can’t claim to be the best plan maker ever. Are we allowed to leave the state?”
“It’s doubtful in your case,” Fred said, looking at her. “I can drop you off at the next corner.”
“Well, I figured, first I call your mom and tell her you’re missing, then I’ll call Jeff’s parents and-”
“Fine, you can come, but just shut up!” Fred complained. “My God what a pain you are.”
Kate fell back into her seat with a discontent sigh. It took all of ten seconds before she started playing with Elle instead.
They traveled for a long while before taking a break; Fred just wanted to get out of the city as fast as possible so the risk of getting caught would subside. Suddenly Kate popped up from her seat again to look over Jeff’s shoulder. “Which way are we going?”
“Kate.”
“No, seriously, I wanna help out. We don’t have to go through Canada, we can just go Pennsylvania – Ohio,” she suggested thoughtfully. “It’s probably a shorter distance, too.”
“Can you read the map?” Jeff asked inquiringly.
“Of course I can!” Kate exclaimed righteously. “What, you think that just because I’m a cheerleader I don’t read? Cheerleaders can read!”
“Yeah, Jeff, they often spell out really big words with their arms and everything,” Fred added with a grin. “And they almost never got my name wrong.”
Jeff laughed. “What I meant was: would you please be so kind and read the map?”
“Oh,” Kate smiled. “Sure! I can be the official map reader. You see; I’ll be good to have around. Fred’s terrible at reading maps. When we went to Mexico a few years ago he got us lost at every intersection. And that time when we went to Florida was even worse; wasn’t Lex on that trip?”
“Yeah. Check on Elle, will you?” Fred told her; he couldn’t see what Elle was doing in the rearview mirror as her car seat was facing backwards.
“She’s chewing on her bunny’s ear. Hey, did you really plan to go all this way with her without being able to look after her?” Kate questioned.
“Well, more breaks would probably have been necessary,” Fred shrugged.
“I come very much in handy. Everybody likes me and I’m very practical to have around,” Kate decided, grabbing the map from Jeff to look it over. “And I can so read a map. Can we make a stop at Arby’s?”
“What’s with the obsession with Arby’s?” Fred asked. “Be a normal girl and don’t eat so much.”
“That’s such a stereotype. Just because I’m a cheerleader-”
“Does she use that argument a lot?” Jeff mumbled.
“Pretty much.”
“-I can’t eat a lot?” Kate muttered. “What, I can’t have layers?”
“You know, you’d probably be seen as less stereotypical if every other word that comes out of your mouth wasn’t some quote from your favorite TV show,” Fred pointed out. “Hurry up and read the map so I know which highway to get onto.”
“I suggest 280, then 80, after the turnpike,” Kate said. “Well, you know, I mean, first off the turnpike, then the 280, then off the 280-”
“I think we get it,” Jeff announced to cut her off, taking the map back. “Thank you.”
“I wasn’t done!”
“Check on the baby,” Fred suggested.
“Don’t think I’m not on to your tactics,” Kate muttered. “Every time you want to distract me, you tell me to check on Elle. Did I ever tell you about the time I went to England-?”
“I’m sure it’ll be a good bedtime story for Elle.”
“Not really, she’s too young to hear such stories.”
Fred rolled his eyes. “I assume that won’t keep your from actually telling it?”
“Not really,” she said practically. “So, anyway, Mom and Dad sent me there to visit some relatives and-”
“The end,” Fred interrupted. “Your family anecdotes have a tendency to run long and I like my sanity where it is. Present.”
“How about breakfast?” Kate asked. “When’s that?”
“About five minutes after I kill you for never shutting up,” Fred sighed.
“Elle could be hungry. You’re gonna let her starve?”
“Maybe we should take a break?” Jeff suggested, obviously fed up with Kate’s constant talking.
“Oh, yay! Jeff’s on my side,” Kate announced enthusiastically. She leaned forward again, making Fred want to shove her back into her seat. He decided not to, as she’d probably get offended by it. The urge was still there, though. “Do I know you in any way?”
“Well, you’re kinda talkin’ to me right now,” Jeff said confusedly, as the question made Kate sound like she was suffering from amnesia.
“I mean, in school. Did we use to hang out or something?”
“Not exclusively, no.”
“Are you pretending not to know me because we used to date and had an ugly breakup?” Kate asked worriedly.
Fred was amazed how thick she could be at times - and he had known her for years now. “Kate, don’t you think you would remember something like that?” he suggested.
“Well… Probably. Maybe we just went out a couple of times and left it at that. If it was a long time ago-”
“No, we didn’t use to date,” Jeff interrupted, annoyed. “You’re Fred’s friend; I’m Lex’s friend, that’s our closest connection. The only times we were even remotely close were when we all hung out.”
“Which wasn’t very often,” Fred added.
“I feel very close to you,” Kate explained determinedly to Jeff. “Maybe we should date? Feelings are good, you know.”
“You’re not my type,” Jeff muttered.
“I’m everybody’s type!” Kate said firmly. “Ask around. Won’t find anybody who’ll disagree.”
“That’s because you put out,” Fred grinned, fighting her off when she tried to slap his arm. “Be still, I’ll drive us off the road.”
“Jeff’s playing hard to get,” Kate sulked.
“No, actually, I think he’s just very not interested,” Fred clarified.
“Everybody likes me,” Kate muttered, as to convince herself. “I’m-”
“You’re rude, you have no sense of knowing when to stop-” Fred cut her off.
“-you talk too much, you never do as told-” Jeff continued.
“-and you’re a cheerleader,” Fred frowned. “Nobody likes a cheerleader. And your hair is kinda messy today.”
“Nuh-huh!” Kate objected distinctively, running a hand through her curly, bright red hair. “It’s a look!”
“It’s how you look,” Fred corrected her. “Today.”
“Can I make a list of what’s bad with you?” she asked hopefully.
“No. But you can sit back and shut up.”
“There will be no Christmas gift for you this year,” Kate muttered quietly.
“That’s kind of how it is every Christmas, Kate,” Fred reminded her. “You force me to buy you a gift, and you neglect to get me one. Kind of like a tradition now.”
“Yeah, well, I won’t even pretend there’ll be a gift for you this year.” Elle started whimpering discontentedly in her car seat, holding her arms out towards Kate. “Baby’s grown tired of her seat.”
“Baby’s not the only one,” Jeff muttered to himself, loud enough for Kate to hear. Fred had to smile, as he was no longer the only one Kate could torment only by her presence.
“You’ll see,” Kate said determinedly, while Fred strayed off from the main road to find a rest stop. “In a few days you’ll be dating me.”
“No, I very much won’t.”
“You’re even starting to speak like me!” Kate giggled excitedly. “Don’t worry. I’ll steer you around the curves.”
“Katherine Ryland Betty McKinley, shut the bloody hell up or you won’t get any food at all!” Fred snapped as he stopped the car outside a gas station that had a restaurant wall-to-wall.
Kate scowled. “You swore you’d never say those names out loud!”
“Well, I’m mad at you,” Fred said firmly. “Get out of the car and go find us a table.”
Kate wrinkled her nose but moved over to the door to open it anyway. “One quote too many?” she asked Jeff, who in turn just shrugged.
Fred drew a deep breath of relief once Kate had disappeared. “I have a strong urge just to leave her here and pick her up on our way back.”
“Sometimes you gotta follow your urges,” Jeff agreed.
Fred grinned. “I know she’s my best friend, but sometimes she really drives me insane. Actually, more always than sometimes.”
“Do you even know what she’s talking about when she starts ranting like she does?”
“I’ve realized that more times than not, she’s actually throwing one liners from some movie or TV show at me. Things I’ve never heard of, but she knows by heart. She watches too much television,” Fred concluded. Elle was now crying loudly, so he decided to get out of the car to comfort her. “Don’t worry; Kate will stop talking if we feed her.”
“I vote for a three course dinner in that case,” Jeff said, also getting out of the car.
“Oh, don’t do that. She’ll be convinced you’re coming on to her.”
Jeff whimpered slightly and followed Kate over to the restaurant, while Fred gathered Elle and her things together so he could bring her inside.
Once Fred came back from the restroom with Elle, he immediately heard Kate’s voice yammering on about the menu. Elle heard it too, quickly moving her head around to see where the noise came from. “She’s mad, that girl,” he explained to Elle as to confide with her. He laughed when Elle just stared at him blankly, as she usually did when he told her something. “You’ll see, once you get older.”
Kate jumped up from her seat when she saw them. “You can sit by the window. Elle likes to look out.”
“Elle likes anything she can look at,” Fred smiled, but moved over so Kate could sit down again. “What’d you order?”
“Miss Stubborn here wouldn’t allow any orders to be made before you came back,” Jeff said bitterly.
“It’s rude to start before everyone’s arrived,” Kate decided. “Jeff’s got no manners.”
“Well, Jeff didn’t grow up in an 18th century upper-class family,” Jeff growled back, turning to talk to Fred instead. “I’m starving.”
Fred smiled. “You can start ordering,” he said. “I have to prepare Elle’s food first before I can read the menu.”
“I can read it for you,” Kate volunteered. “First there’s a picture of a hamburger – and some green stuff on it, I’d say it’s lettuce or something – and then it says ‘Welcome to our restaurant’-”
“You could just skip that part and just read the food,” Jeff suggested.
“But then he won’t know the beginning of the story,” she objected. “I mean, there’s several paragraphs here about the history of the place.”
“Oh my God, just get to the menu part!” Jeff snapped.
“Fine,” she muttered. “Anyway. First there’s a picture of a sandwich, and then it says ‘our sandwiches are made on newly baked bread and with fresh-”
“How about a sandwich?” Jeff interrupted, looking at Fred.
“Sounds good. I’ll have that,” Fred smiled, while Kate mumbled something about ‘no appreciation’ under her breath. “Did you bring the map? We can work out how to drive.”
“Why didn’t you do that before you left?” Kate asked. Fred hated when her questions made sense. “You had plenty of time to work that out during the weekend.”
“Have a cookie, Kate,” Fred said, holding out a small bag of crackers towards her. Elle held out her hands to grab hold of the bag herself. “Better hurry, they’re popular.”
Kate giggled amusedly, taking out a small piece of cracker and holding it out for Elle to take. That entertained the both of them for several minutes, while Fred and Jeff could enjoy the silence for a while.
The promise of Kate staying quiet became real when the food finally arrived, as she nearly didn’t utter more than two words after taking a bite out of her own sandwich. Fred put a bib on Elle before letting her play around with the bits of bananas he’d cut up for her. Kate continued to giggle when Elle dropped and squashed most of the food she tried to grab. “Aww, so cute,” Kate chirped happily. “Lucky she has a bib. Everything gets on her clothes.”
“Yes, I realize that,” Fred rolled his eyes. “She’s a baby. She of the not self-cleaning kind.”
“She’s still adorable,” Kate smiled. “Even if she stuffs her face.”
“I don’t make comments when you stuff your face, do I?” Fred asked.
“I never do. I’m a lady.”
“You’re a pig,” Fred said harshly. “That’ll do, pig.”
Kate looked down into the table, at first trying to come off as having her feelings hurt but then snickering contently. “You quoted something.”
“If I got a dollar every time I told you to shut up I’d be so rich by now,” Fred said.
“You are rich.”
“I’d be richer, then.”
“Your logic does not resemble our earth logic,” Kate mumbled to herself, seemingly very satisfied with getting another word in. Fred doubted he’d ever really know what she was talking about.
Elle craved attention again, knocking over her bottle of formula so it dropped down on Kate’s jeans. “How tragic,” Fred laughed.
“Oh, look what she did!” Kate howled, grabbing a napkin. “Oh, you stupid baby!”
“Kate!”
Kate sat down again, remorseful. “I mean… I didn’t mean stupid. I meant unknowing baby who got my jeans dirty,” she mumbled, tilting her head to the side while watching Elle’s face. “You think I hurt her feelings? Oh, little bit!” Kate pulled Elle into her arms, kissing her cheek over and over again.
“Kate, she’s fine. You’re choking her,” Fred hurried to say, helping Elle out of Kate’s grip. “Kate, let go. She’ll start crying if you hold her down.”
“Oh,” Kate said, quickly releasing her arms around the baby. “I didn’t mean to.”
“She’s fine,” Fred sighed again. “But you don’t call a baby stupid, even if she did something bad.”
“I’m sorry,” Kate replied. “Forgive me?”
“Yeah, yeah. Just eat your breakfast so we can get going. We still have plenty of miles to go before we sleep.”
“Now you made another quote!” Kate shouted. “Why can’t I if you can?”
Fred stared at her in bewilderment. “I haven’t quoted a damn thing! Shut up!”
Jeff sighed heavily. “You two are like… I don’t know what you are, but it’s damn annoying. You know, if Lex wasn’t worth all this, I’d be on the first bus home right about now.”
“I’ll tell Lex you said that!” Kate said.
Jeff glared at her. “Will it take horribly long to explain to you how faltered your logic is?”
“Oh, don’t even attempt it,” Fred advised. “She won’t understand even if you write it with really big letters on a huge sign and hit her with it over the head.”
“You know what?” Kate said cheerfully, ignoring them completely. “I can take the baby on a wash-up. She’s got banana goo all over her face.” She picked Elle up from Fred’s lap and got up from the table.
“Just be careful with her,” Fred warned. “And for goodness sake, don’t drop her.”
“I won’t,” Kate promised. “I can wash a baby.”
“The question is; will the baby let herself be washed?” Fred said amusedly. Elle had a tendency to splash as much water around as she could during a simple wash-up. Kate was blissfully unaware of this, of course.
“God, you’re so untrusting. Like I can’t wash a baby. Pfft. I have motherly instincts too, ya know!” Kate claimed loudly.
“If they involve your latest purchased boots, maybe,” Fred nodded. “When it comes to Elle, you wouldn’t hesitate for a second before putting all of her in the washing machine if she got messy enough – or forget about her entirely if something really shiny comes along as a distraction.”
“You’ll see,” Kate explained decisively. “She’ll come back all clean and soap smellingly.” She strutted off with Elle towards the restroom so Fred wouldn’t have a chance to get another word in.
Fred started packing all of Elle’s things together to put it in the bag again. “We better get going, we’ve been here for over an hour and we’ll have to make at least five more stops before we can call it a night, due to Elle and all,” he told Jeff.
“Yeah, of course.”
“Don’t worry about Kate, though. She usually falls asleep during long car-rides.”
“Thank God,” Jeff muttered.
Fred grinned. “You’ll have a chance to bond more tonight.”
“Oh, forget it,” Jeff objected violently. “I’m not sharing a room with her. She can stay with you.”
“I have to take Elle,” Fred shrugged with a content smile. “Sorry.”
“I’ll take Elle. I can sleep in the car for that matter.”
“We’ll work it out. But no, you can’t take Elle,” Fred laughed. “Kate can be quite charming sometimes.”
“Don’t try to convince me, I’m not going anywhere near her. She can stay with Elle.”
“I’ll stay with Elle,” Fred said happily. “Times like these, I really love my baby.”
They left as soon as Kate got back with Elle. Fred realized that the thought of getting to see Lex again was what kept his spirit up. He was smiling more on this trip than he had been able to for the past seven months. Elle was a handful, and Kate was annoying, but he would have experienced that at home, too, if he had decided not to go. Elle was only handful in an adorable way, and Kate was, despite her irritating ways, the kind of comic relief she always was, and a definite distraction that he needed.
Lex would’ve loved this, he thought to himself. He was sure of it.