Downtown Orlando is a lot like downtown Dallas, but not. Nobody’s wearing a Cowboy hat but me…not that I mind. I’m usually the only one. The similarities are that there are lots of people and lots of little shops and stuff to walk through.

    Connie, Julie, and Anna disappeared into a clothing shop and we haven’t seen them since. Guy, Fred, Adam, Russ, Lex, Jeff, Goldberg, and Charlie are all still checking out hockey equipment and pro-jerseys at a sports equipment store. I was in there earlier, but I left. While I was in there though, I noticed the hockey sticks are right next to the jerseys. Charlie was looking at the hockey sticks and Lex was sifting through old New York Islander jerseys. Charlie seemed to be checking out Lex more than the hockey sticks, though. Fred went to talk to Lex, and Charlie looked incredibly jealous. Lex didn’t seem all that thrilled when Fred was talking to her. She kept glancing around and I can only guess she was looking for Catalina. All that changed, though, when Fred discovered a Bobby Nystrom #6 jersey and handed it to her. Her eyes lit up in excitement, she threw her arms around his neck, said ‘Thank you, thank you, thank you, Fred!’ in a nothing-could-be-better-than-this-jersey voice, and raced off yelling ‘Jeff! Jeff! Look what I have!’

    Catalina, Portman, Fulton, and Sammie are in a shop across the street that sells merchandise advertising heavy metal bands. Portman is warming up to Sammie; he didn’t seem to like her at first. He’s also going out of his way to be nice to Catalina. I think he felt sorry for her earlier. I felt sorry for her too, and for Lex, but not for the same reasons.

    That reminds me, I wonder if Fulton and Portman were kidding earlier, about how they were gay, that is. It was in such a weird moment, maybe they were kidding? I don’t know. I guess that’ll be something we’ll consult them about later. Honestly, I don’t really mind. They’re consenting, right? They’re happy? That’s all that matters. I’m not especially in love with the idea of being gay. I enjoy the company of ladies, and I’ll never understand why they don’t, but hey, who am I to judge? Besides, even if you don’t like gay people, how could you not like Portman and Fulton? The Bash Brothers! They’re so cool. How could you not love them? They’re part of our team, our friends. You can’t help but love them anyway.

    Averman, Ken, Luis, Matt, Chris, Luis, Anthony, and I are in a shop right now that sells musical instruments. Matt, Chris, and Anthony insisted they needed to check some stuff out and dragged the four of us hockey players into the shop. I join Chris, who’s looking at bass guitars.

    "You play bass?" I ask him.

    "Yeah. Sometimes. Jeff and I split the time…wow, this is a really nice guitar," he says. Then, looking at a price, he says "Oh shit. I don’t have that kind of money!"

    "Huh? How much?"

    "I don’t have four hundred dollars for this!" he exclaims.

    "Wow. The finest Texas banjos don’t cost that much!"

    "Really," Chris says, looking very disbelieving. I chuckle to myself. I love doing that to people. I bring up Texas, and for some reason, everyone looks a little nutty.

    "Wait," he says. "Do you play?"

    "Yeah, acoustic guitar," I explain. It’s true. I do play. Not as much as I’d like, but I do play.

    "You know how to play banjo?" he asks.

    "Yeah," I answer quietly. I’m a bit embarrassed to admit this. Banjo is considered such a hillbilly instrument. Contrary to popular belief, not all southern people are hicks. I mean, yeah, sure there are some, but not all of us.

    But to my surprise, Chris looks excited rather than disgusted. "Really? That’s awesome! None of us know how to play banjo, and it’s really hard to improvise when we do some songs! Do you think you could teach me if we ever have time?"

    "Sure, I’d love to," I say, taken aback by this enthusiasm over banjos.

    "Your name is Dwayne Robinson, right?"

    "Robertson," I correct him.

    "Robertson, Robertson," he says quietly, as if memorizing it. "If you’re ever in New York, look us up," Chris says, "maybe you can join us on stage some time!"

    "I’d love to," I say again, grinning, glad someone appreciates my banjo skills.

    Chris turns his attention back to the bass guitar he’d been looking at earlier. "Hmmm…" he mumbles, "I don’t have that money…"

    "It’s a nice guitar," I say and he gives me this look like ‘yeah I know.’ Good Lord, am I good at consoling people or what?

    "Where’s Lex?" he says finally.

    "At that sports shop. Last I saw her she was running to show Jeff a jersey Fred pulled off the rack for her," I explain. At the mention of Fred’s name, Chris’s face contorts a bit. I guess Fred is a sensitive subject, but I feel the need to defend him. I don’t know why. As far as I’m concerned, Fred shouldn’t have led Lex on, and should have been straight with Catalina the whole time. "Hey, Fred’s not such a bad guy. He’s a bit of a jerk, yeah, but he’s not really all that bad."

    "Yeah, I guess. It’s just…he should have been straight with Lex and that Catalina girl. It was kind of mean of him, stringing the pair of them along like that."

    "He’s just confused. He’s a bit slow, but he does eventually work things out. Just give him a chance," I say. Fred’s not really too bad of a guy. An idiot sometimes, sure, but hey, who isn’t?

    "You seem like a good guy, Dwayne, and Lex and Jeff obviously like him, so I guess he deserves another chance," Chris says, finally, after thinking for a few moments. "That reminds me, Lex will buy this. She buys most of our stuff anyway, and I really need a new guitar."

    Just then, Sammie comes flying into the shop like a man on fire. About three nanoseconds later, Portman comes running after her covered in white stuff. It looks a bit like shaving cream.

    "Matt! Matt! Help me!" she screams, leaping into Matt’s arms where he’s standing by a bunch of different drum sets.

    "You little…!" Portman runs over to Matt and begins tickling Sammie, who falls out of Matt’s arms and is shrieking with laughter. Matt looks very confused.

    "I thought Sammie was in love with Fulton," Chris says to me, turning his back on the scene, "but since it seems he walks the other side of the line, that’s obviously not right. I’m glad Sammie’s getting on with Fulton and Portman though. She said that she and Fulton have a lot of the same interests and it’ll be nice now that she’s found someone to recite ‘I Love Lucy’ episodes with."

    "Sammie doesn’t have a boyfriend?" I ask, gazing at her.

    "Nope…she and Matt went out for a while though," he says.

    "Are they friends or more than that?"

    "Friends. Their relationship works better when they can go to a movie with a group of friends and be expected to throw popcorn at the screen rather than make out through the movie."

    "Anybody else?"

    "She dated this jerk at school for a while, but that’s over too, and will never restart again, trust me."

    "Why? Bitter ending?" I ask.

    "Bitter? It was downright nasty. It ended at a school dance, when he was close to raping her in the boys’ locker room. Someone caught sight of it, and told us about it. Matt, Jeff, Anthony, and I walked through the doors just in time, and proceeded to kick the shit out of the guy. Sammie cried a lot, and was unhappy for a very long time. She’d skip rehearsals, and cry, and lock herself in her room for hours at a time. Lex finally paid for a visit to the psychologist. That seemed to do the trick, but it still took her a good two months to come out of it."

    "Oh jeez, that’s terrible, I’m so sorry…so she’s available?" Oops. That sounds kind of insensitive. ‘She was nearly raped…so is she single?’ Oh well. I’m not as dumb as I play, but I’m not brilliant either. I have that problem most people have. You know, that problem where I don’t think before I speak sometimes?

    "Yeah…wait, do you want to ask her out?" he looks more suspicious about me asking her out more than my insensitivity. I’m relieved for that. I didn’t mean to be insensitive, it’s just, well, how do you respond to a story like that? Certainly not the way I did. I should have been more tactful, more caring, more like a gentleman…more southern.

    "Well, she’s very pretty, she seems nice, and I have talked to her a few times," I explain. It’s true. Sammie’s got blond hair and brown eyes and she is very pretty, and she was sweet when I talked to her.

    "Fine, ask her. But if you hurt her, I’ll be forced to kill you," Chris says.

    "What? I haven’t even decided if I want to ask her yet!"

    "Oh. Sorry, but I may as well warn you now. Don’t hurt her, Dwayne. You seem like a nice guy, I don’t really want to kick the shit out of you."

    "Why would you?"

    "It’s policy with us."

    "Policy?" What the hell is this guy talking about? Who has a kick-the-shit-of-somebody policy?

    "Yeah. You hurt one of our girls, and we have to kill you. It’s just the way it works. In a way, it’s sort of a miracle Fred is still alive and well. Believe me, if Matt had his way, Fred would be in a hospital bed right now," he says, grinning apologetically. Oh, ok, I get it now. It’s sort of the way we are about Catalina and Connie and Julie. Although I think that if it was just some male Ducks plus Lex or Anna or Sammie and some random guy tried to hurt one of them, we’d protect them…and if it was female Ducks and the male band members, I’m sure the guys would do the same if somebody tried to hurt Connie or Julie or even Catalina.

    Everyone else has left the shop, and Chris and I head for the door. Chris catches Lex walking by with Adam. He whispers something to her, and she nods. They disappear and Adam and I wait outside for them to come back. When they walk out again, Chris is carrying a new guitar case.

    "It’s amazing you carry that much cash," I say to Lex.

    "Cash? You crazy? I use my father’s credit card. It’s a wonderful thing," she says, grinning up at me.

    "How’d you get your hands on that?" Adam asks.

    "He just left it, lying around in plain sight…in his wallet…in his sock draw," she answers at him, grinning again.

    "Won’t he know it’s gone?"

    "Probably not."

    "How could he not?"

    "Well he’s got a zillion credit cards. Plus, we’ve got millions of dollars, a couple hundred won’t hurt. Besides, my mom does the tax and finances and stuff. My dad is pretty clueless. My mom is cool with it as long as I don’t spend too, too much."

    If Lex's mom is cool with her spending four hundred dollars on a guitar, I can't help but wonder what 'too, too much' money is for the O'Leary family.

    Sammie comes running up to us. "Hide me!" she squeaks.

    "Why?" Adam asks looking confused.

    "Portman’s after me. I accidentally dropped his bandana in the sewer."

    Portman runs by me and I step in front of Sammie, granting her request.

    "Where’s the blond pipsqueak! I’m going to kill her!"

    "She went that way," Chris says, pointing in the other direction. Lex’s head is buried in Adam’s chest and she’s shaking. She’s obviously trying not to laugh.

    Portman runs off, and Sammie steps out from behind me.

    "Thanks!" she says, kissing my cheek, before running in the opposite direction of Portman.

    I watch her leave, and Chris says, "Go for it." Lex looks between me and Sammie; eyes narrowed, and then gets the idea. She looks at Chris for confirmation, and he nods. She grins at me, but doesn’t say anything. Banksie seems to have caught on too. He grins at me and gives me a thumbs up sign.

    "Hey Ducks!" comes Charlie’s voice. "Lunch!"