Cimmy’s Notes: New chapter, yay! Thank you for the reviews! I’m not sure there will be any resolved questions in this chapter but at least some things are out in the open now for Fred – he’s had a busy month, yes. Next chapter is being written as I type this (obviously not at the same time, though) but I can’t say when the next update will be because I honestly don’t know.
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Chapter 14. Life Support
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My eye-lids feel heavy. My nose itches. Something is tickling my left ear. I hate being tickled on the ear. My ears can’t be touched. It’s one of my weird things.
I move my hand and feel a soft fabric against my fingers. Must be a blanket. There’s something attached to my index finger. I try to get it off by moving my hand, but it doesn’t work. Instead I feel someone’s hand touching my skin.
There’s no doubt about it. It’s Catalina. I know her hand. Her hand is so tiny and smooth. Nothing compared to my hands. She’s stroking the top of my hand with her fingers. “Fred? Are you awake?”
Her voice is raspy. She’s choked up. She’s been crying. I force myself to open my eyes, despite the effort. She’s standing over me, looking down. Her eyes are red and puffy. She seems tired. “Lina,” I manage to get out.
“Don’t say anything,” she advices. “You need to rest, Fred.”
That’s the last thing I need. I pick my head up from the pillow, but I have to lie down again, there’s a sharp pain going through my head. “Where am I?”
“At the hospital. It’s okay. You blacked out for a second. You’ll be alright,” she assures me, but her voice sounds strained and upset.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, pulling her closer.
She’s quiet. She looks to be holding back what she wants to say. I tug at her jacket sleeve to bring her even closer. “I’m alright,” I say.
“Oh, you stupid ass!” she exclaims, tears pouring down her face. I don’t have time to add my standard line – ‘I’m not stupid’ – because she slaps my arm and begins walking back and forth in the room. “What’s wrong, you ask? How dare you ask me that? You completely fall apart in front of my eyes and you dare ask me what’s wrong.”
“What is it?” I reply worriedly, though still very confused.
“What it is? This is what it is!” she hollers, throwing me the jar containing my Prozac. It hits me on the cheek and I whimper. “Oh, don’t you complain! I’ve worried sick over you, Fred. I’ve stayed by your side and worried sick!”
“You worried sick?”
“Didn’t I just say that?” she snaps, still crying. “Why haven’t you told me you’re taking these? Why don’t you tell me whenever something’s wrong?”
“I didn’t want to worry you,” I explain.
“Nice going! You accomplished that with flying colors!” she shouts angrily. “Not only do you keep it from me, but you lie-”
“I haven’t lied to you,” I say forcefully. “I’ve never lied to you.”
“You kept the truth from me, which is just as bad. Is this how you wanted me to find out?” she asks. Her little tantrum is over and she hurries over to me and wraps her arms around my neck. “I love you, Fred. They kept me from you. I thought you’d died.”
“They what?” I mutter, while she lies down next to me.
She sobs quietly. “Your people. The MC people. They told me to stay out of your way when I tried to get to you at the press conference. They told me I couldn’t do anything but get in the way of the paramedics. Your slutty friend went with you instead.”
“Cathy?”
“Yeah,” she whines sadly. “I saw her push her way through to get up to you when they brought you out. She held your hand like you belonged to her. And I’m your wife and they wouldn’t let me through. They left me there with the press, and they attacked me with questions.”
“Calm down,” I soothe. “It’s okay now. I know how retarded they can be. How are you?”
“I’m upset, you jerk!” she cries. “What’d you think? Your breakdown is on the front page and on the evening news. Everyone knows about it. How do you think I feel?”
Upset, probably. I prop myself up on my elbow, gazing around. The room is quite small, but has these big windows that let me know that it’s still daytime outside. “What day?”
“Monday.”
“Where’s Bailey?”
“Still with Mikey.”
I forgot.
“He’s alright?”
“Yeah. A bit worried, though. He knows what happened, I didn’t have time to alert Mikey to keep Bailey from watching the TV. He saw it on the news. He wanted to speak to you, but I told him he’d have to wait until you get better.”
Like she was reading somebody’s mind, a nurse knocks on the door. “Excuse me, sir?” she says. “Your son has been calling. Do you want to take the call?”
Catalina jumps up from the bed, leaving me squealing with pain from the abrupt movement. “I’ll take it,” she exclaims hurriedly.
“It’s okay,” I mumble tiredly. “I want to speak with him.”
“You need to rest,” Catalina points out. The nurse nods to her statement.
“It’s okay,” I repeat, holding out my hand towards the cordless phone. “It won’t take long.”
Catalina snatches the phone before I get a chance to. “Hi, honey,” she says to Bailey. “How’re things going?” Bailey speaks for a long time before she gets another word in. “You wanna talk to Daddy?”
“Gimme that,” I roll my eyes, taking the phone away from her. “Bailey?”
“Hi Dad!”
“Is everything alright?”
“Dad!”
“Yeah, it’s me,” I smile.
“Dad! You’re on the news,” he points out informatively. “Mom too.”
“I know. Don’t worry about me, though. I’m fine. They always blow things out of proportion on the news.”
“I know,” he agrees, sounding like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“That’s my boy,” I praise. He’s so smart. He knows wrong from right. He understands something so complicated.
“Mom’s angry,” Bailey announces.
“Yeah, I sort of figured that out,” I say, throwing a glance at Catalina who’s glaring daggers at me from across the room at the same time as she’s looking concerned. Only she knows how to pull that off.
“She told Mike she’s gonna strangle you.”
I sigh. “Mikey told you that?”
“He says I should know secrets ‘cause they corner me.”
“Corner?” I mumble, hearing someone other than Bailey speak in the background.
“Uh, concern,” Bailey corrects himself. “Nothing’s secret in family.”
This is the reason why I don’t like Mikey as Bailey’s baby-sitter. He tells Bailey all sort of idiotic things because he believes it’s ‘right’. Bah. Truth is a tricky concept when it ‘concerns’ a three year-old.
“You tell Mikey that I’ll strangle him instead,” I suggest. Catalina jumps up from her chair and dashes over to pry the phone away from me. “Or that I’ll just shake him around a bit.”
“Okay,” Bailey giggles. “Hey, Mike-”
I can’t hear him leave Mikey the message, because Catalina grabs hold of my ear and won’t let go until I hand her the phone. I squirm with pain and decide that my ear needs to be saved from that kind of maltreatment. “Don’t be silly,” she hisses at me. “Bailey, don’t listen to your dad. He’s just being silly.”
“Actually, I meant every word of it,” I say. “Be sure to notify Mikey.”
Catalina shoots me a discontent look and turns away. “Be a nice boy now, Bay. We love you very much.”
“So, did you talk to Gale?” I ask as soon as she’s hung up on Bailey.
“That’s your initial question? Work? Gale?” Catalina questions angrily. Her mellow personality seems to have been lost overnight. She hasn’t been angry with me since before we got married. “Explain the drugs.”
“It’s not drugs. It’s prescribed medicine. I only left it out of conversation because of your…” I don’t know how to finish that sentence without making her even madder.
“Addiction?” she finishes. “What does my addiction got to do with your illness?”
“Because I’m addicted too!” I finally shout, and then realize I should lower my voice. “In a way.”
Catalina swallows loudly, close to tears again. “I don’t understand. I don’t get why you wouldn’t tell me about something like this. Don’t you trust me?”
“Catalina, you’re the only one I trust,” I say forcefully. “And I don’t think we should discuss this now. Not here. Not now.”
She presses her lips together, nodding slowly. We’ve switched back to normal. I’m the determined one and she just does what I tell her. It shouldn’t be like that. “Maybe I should leave,” she mumbles and grabs her bag. “You should rest and I have work to do.”
“What work?”
“Mr. Ah- I mean, your dad wanted me to handle your appointments and meetings now when Gale isn’t here.”
“My calendar?” I ask dizzily.
“Don’t worry, I won’t mess it up. I sort of figured out the system and the stuff I didn’t understand I asked Gale about. I called her and asked,” she adds when I open my mouth to ask more about it. “I’ve cleared your schedule until Thursday and I called your clients and booked new appointments.”
For a second I’m tempted to start questioning her every move and tell her to describe every action she’s made with my calendar, but I decide not to because she’d probably get upset and think I don’t trust her with it. “Thanks,” I say instead. “I’m sure you did a great job.”
“Thanks,” she mumbles back.
“You don’t have to leave,” I announce when she starts walking towards the door. “You can do your job here.”
“I’ll be back later,” she promises.
“I’m sorry for all this. I love you.”
She smiles briefly before opening the door. “I love you too. See ya.”
When she’s gone, I realize I’m not at all as sleepy as I thought I was. I lay awake for hours even though there are nurses coming by every so often, telling me that I need to rest.
Bailey doesn’t call anymore as I expected. The only thing showing on TV is my own dive onto the floor. My father sounds seriously pissed off when they show the interview with him. He acts like he’s concerned about me, but seems to take it as a personal insult that I got injured.
The hours pass slowly. I can’t say what I was doing because I don’t know how I made the time go by. Catalina doesn’t return and when I look out the window it’s suddenly gotten dark outside. So Monday came and went. And Tuesday arrive.